JymalotMusic

Hi Ya'll...

There's Good News, and then there's Really Good News.

First, the Good News. Despite themselves, local law enforcement finally locked up the South Louisiana Serial Killer, a "charming" piece of garbage named Derrick Todd Lee. (Oops, since he hasn't yet been convicted, I guess his defense team won't want me on the jury.) Actually, state authorities discovered the identity of the killer, and authorities in Atlanta caught him. But local authorities were right there to get the credit. I feel safe.

And, thankfully, the D.C. snipers were caught. You know, they killed at least one person right here in John Mohammed's home town. If the snipers had just stayed here, they might never have been caught.

And, guess what? Local authorities have recently caught a SECOND serial killer in town. Let's give authorities some credit with this second killer, they caught up to Sean Gillis pretty fast. But not before he killed at least eight people. Why do I live here?

Seriously, though, some more Good News….how ‘bout dem Tigers?!?! LSU blitzes its way to No.1 and the BCS National Championship in college football. It was an amazing, exciting season. Didn't you love that crybaby Manning boy falling down on fourth and long in the final seconds? And, in the championship game, Musberger babbling, "you've got the Heisman Trophy winner, and a minute and a half left at midfield. A good situation for the Sooners." HA!

Even more Good News. Remember those kildeer birds I told you about last year? Well, they never left. They stay around the yard, hang out in the ditch out front, follow me around when I am riding the mower. They are cool. And right this minute, there is one sitting on yet another "nest" right in the middle of the front yard, again this year. Four eggs again. I'm gonna be a paw-paw again.

Speaking of the ditch out front….. the other day, it's raining out, so I was sitting at home watching TV, and this guy in a truck decided it would be a fun time to do some peeling out on our neighborhood street. So he floored it, started fishtailing, lost it altogether, crashed across my neighbor's driveway, destroyed his garbage can, knocking it about 50 feet away, ripped into his front yard through the ditch and finally stopped. I saw the whole thing. About 75 feet of his front yard was all rutted up, so the driver got out of the truck and apologized and offered to pay for the damage. NOT!!!!!!!! What he did was take off again, spinning his wheels trying to flee the scene, and tearing up my neighbor's yard even more in the process. Well, the neighbor, we call him "Red," ran out and before the truck could get out of the ditch, he leaned into the truck, pushed the driver back from the steering wheel and told him to stop, that he's not going anywhere. The driver stopped and turned off the truck.

The driver was this 16-year-old boy, and there were four other boys in the truck. They were all decked out in their baddest, hip-hop, baggy pants, skull cap, I'm-such-a-bad-ass-mo'-fo' outfits. The driver, baddest of the bad, he started screaming like a little girl about how "Red" can't touch him 'cause he's juvenile, and he called his momma on his bad-ass, flip-open cell phone. His MOMMA! Not his daddy, his MOMMA! He was whining like a five-year-old to his momma about how this mean man touched him and he "ain't did nuthin'."

The cops came, wrote the kid a ticket. "Red," me and some other witnesses all told the cops about how the kid was trying to flee the scene after tearing up the yard, but the kid kept whining about how he wasn't attempting to flee, he was just trying to get out of the ditch, back on the road. Yeah, the road to his backyard where he could wash off the truck and say, "What garbage can? I didn't hit no garbage can. I ain't did nuthin'." HA! No apology for tearing up "Red's" yard. He just pouted and whined. We could all see him working hard to divert his parents' attention away from what he did. The sad part is, I think Momma believes if she presses charges on "Red," it'll teach her son respect for other people's property. Shame on her. No wonder the kid is such a baby.

It makes me wonder about two things, though. First, have we reached a point in the world where, if a property owner catches someone tearing up his property, he has to just stand there and watch 'em leave? And, secondly, how does such a little weenie, girlee-boy even sleep at night?

It's a strange world out there.

And now for the Really Good News……

My old 4-track machine just won't work. No, that's NOT the news, hang with me. I've cleaned the machine, switched to 20-minute cassettes to minimize drag, tried recording in the middle, and nothing works. I still get a profound audio fade half a minute into any recording. So, "I Am Not Here," is not here. My alternatives were to buy another 4-track, which I still might do, or just go direct and live onto a plain cassette, no mix. Sooo, why the heck not, says I? And, here comes the silver lining, the it's-dark-before-the-dawn, the everything's-coming-up-roses, you get the point……upstairs I went to the recorder, no rehearsal, no mix, no nothing, just LIVE UPSTAIRS, it's JYMALOT MUSIC. Yeah! And that's what we have for you. A brand new CD, done live upstairs, just me, one take. It's got four songs, but one is like ten minutes long, so the CD is worth the price. I think so, anyway. The tunes include a new song and an acoustic version of "The Company I Keep" that I know you fans are just about dying to hear. I'm issuing a press release announcing the new CD, and you can find that somewhere on this website. Plus, I'll try to get my site manager to post a couple of these tunes so you can hear ‘em. And, unlike the greedy Metallica bunch, my downloads are yours for free.

Actually, I had fun doing the songs live in just one take. Less work that way. Hey, I just thought…. maybe if they throw my buddy "Red" in jail for The Great Truck In The Ditch Incident, he can get the warden to arrange for me to play a live, jail house blues show… yeah, Jymalot Music Live from Jail.

"We all down in here,
Oh, Cell Block C,
We all down in here,
Lord, set me free."

Take care everyone, and remember….. these pretzels are makin' me thirsty!

Jym