2010 Letter to Fans
JUNE 10, 2010
Here we are in 2010, having fun, ahyeeeee, couchon delais, sauce c‘est bon, laissez le bon temps roulet!
I know it’s been awhile since I wrote you guys, and I know that must have been difficult for you. But, it’s okay, I’m here now.
Since my last letter, I have really settled into retirement. Every day is Saturday. And everyday, I am in disbelief that I get paid to do nothing. I have discovered that I am really good at that, too! I will start working on putting together a new CD soon, though. The band has a backlog of about 10 songs already. Just a matter of getting them down. Soon, I promise.
Back in the Fall of 2009, I sold the house on the river in Louisiana and moved with my new wife, the beautiful and blonde Charity, to a mountain in north Alabama. The owners of the company she works for (love those guys) made her an offer she couldn’t refuse, and, since my paycheck just comes in the mail wherever I am, there was no way I could say no to moving. So, left behind, among other things, are the hottest, most humid days in North America, stinging caterpillars, incessant rain, giant mahogany wasps, water moccasins, alligators (they were fun to shoot, though…I mean, I imagine they were, but I would never do that. It’s illegal.), mildew on everything, the per capita murder capital of Earth (the Baton Rouge-New Orleans corridor), and, last but not least, some of the most awful people…. that would include that piece of shit Terry Byer and is bitch piece of shit Wyatt King, and their bug-eyed toad Ann Grayhim, and why-don’t-he-just-die Billy Dedon, and that silly She-Ape Annie, and that Mormon garbage man Ron Brown, and Stacie The Liar and her janitor, and the batch of chicken-shits that think cowardice was their only option. I could go on with that list, but I won’t. I wish I could shoot them all in the face, but I’ll just hope to outlive them all so I can laugh when they die. (I just love hate! Ha!!! Hey, there‘s a song in there somewhere….)
Meanwhile, how about a daiquiri? Well, that’s another left behind thing, unfortunately. Here in Alabama, they do not know what a daiquiri is. So, soon, I will buy a daiquiri machine. Yep.
Also left behind were some of the bestest people….like Robbie and Bridgette, and Robin, and Bob, and moms and sisters and daughters. That part is not so much fun, the missing them part. I need to figure a way to include more tour dates for Jymalot Music back in Louisiana, so I can stay connected to my friends and family. Alas….
But here on this mountain, it’s beautiful and quiet, cool and dry. The snow was awesome this past Winter. The house is big and kinda fine, and me and Charity are the proud parents of two Hummers. TWO! That’s crazy, huh? But you just gotta have a Hummer to get up and down the mountain when it freezes. You just gotta.
Moving here was not painless, but it got done. We’ve met some very nice people, but mostly here, if you don’t go to your neighbors’ church, your neighbors will keep their distance. That’s okay, in a way, but back in Louisiana on the river, it was cool to be close with my neighbors. Lots of fun. Here, they are nice, but, ummm, distant. Charity and I, being the artsy types, don’t exactly fit in.
Know what else they do NOT have here in Alabama? Decent fried seafood. And no crawfish etouffee. I mean, there is great fried catfish, shrimp and alligator within five minutes of anywhere in south Louisiana. None here. Where I eat breakfast here, Bowling’s, they can cook up some okay catfish. It’ll do, but it’s not like back on the river. However, Bowling’s has the absolute best, most perfect pancakes this side of Venus. And the family that owns the place has been very nice to us. They are cool.
And, guess what? You can’t carry a gun around in Alabama. What’s up with that? Not even in your car. Weird. So, I got a concealed handgun permit. Had to. Feel naked without a weapon in my pants. Or a gun! I am a proud, pistol-packing Alabamian.
As an LSU alum, class of ‘74, married to a former Mike The Tiger (yeah, Charity was the actual person in the Tiger suit… I have her autograph to prove it.), I am surrounded by Red. Oh, I’m wearing Purple and Gold, no matter how bad our quarterback is, or how sucky the baseball team was until the SEC tourney, or even if the basketball “team” is the worst SEC team ever. But it was nice to have the Tide as a backup to pull for….and let’s not forget Auburn. They win here.
Sooo, we are settling in, here in Alabama. Love this mountain. Love this retirement thing. Love Charity. I say, let’s roast a pig in some hot sauce and let the good times roll!!!